This thing I waited for so long is not exactly what I pictured, but I am so glad I am here. I am thankful, SO extremely thankful that my sweet cousin Shelby is here with me. She's been through freshman year...she checks up on me, calls me, asks me what I'm doing, helps me meet people...pushes me to get out of my box. I am also SO VERY thankful that my best friend Shawn is only fifteen minutes away. It has been WONDERFUL that both of them are so close to me. I haven't made friends...not close ones yet. It's never been this hard for me to make friends. I think it's so hard right now because I don't see the same people every day. Classes make it better...at least I see mostly the same people every other day.
My precious brother moved to China last Monday...and the reality of him being gone is sinking in. I want to call him and tell him about college so badly! I have called and or talked to him face-to-face every first day of school I've ever had. It's so hard. It makes it worth it that he's in a place he's wanted to go for a long time. I've heard it's beautiful...I've heard he's going to love it. I know God's holding him every step of the way...and for that...I can never give enough thanks.
It's hard right now, but life is hard. I've made it through storms before...storms a lot harder than this one. I WILL make friends...I WILL find things to get involved in..I WILL find a church...it's just a matter of time, of working on it, of waiting on the Lord. He WILL show me what I'm going to do with my life...He WILL guide, protect, love, lead, and talk to me. The journey...oh the journey is where all the growing happens.
Things are so different...so completely, utterly, totally different. But this is where I am in life. This is where I'm supposed to be, it's where God wants me. He CREATED me to be who I am...not matter how much my hang ups and insecurites irritate me...He made me this way.
I ask that You hold my heart and send me friends...beautiful friends filled with Your Love and Your Spirit and Your awesomeness. God, thank You for my blessings, thank You for Shawn and Shelby. Thank You that I'm not far from home...and thank You for all the people who have been encouraging me from home. Help me manage my time well and to be able to say no to things that I don't have time for, especially social things. Help me to be better...to be a more beautiful person. Help me to be a light even when I don't "feel" like it. Help me to encourage others and love others just as You've loved me...with an awesome, overwhelming, real kind of love. Thank You for bringing me to this amazing place. Please show me what to do! You are all I need...You're my constant, my everything, my breath, my life. Do with me as You want, Lord! I glorify Your name alone.